can I be such an asshole sometimes?

I wish you don't marry her. Because, it would torn me apart, put me into pieces, and actualized every of my bad dreams. But, I know you well enough to understand that the otherwise would only torn you apart, put you into pieces, and drowned you in the endless pit of depression, and it is the last thing I want for this life. Though, I still can't see my self love someone else as the way I do for you, sincerely with much of generosity. Thus, I stay to my constant silent prayers, I hope you are happy, always happy. That will always be the thing that matters the most for me and this friendship story.