Saying~
Assalamualaikuum!!! there are a loot of things that happen lately, bad good beautiful hectic chaos calm terrific and all of that things just comes up to me and makes my mood rides roller coaster. I don't know whether its because of this akshdiasnxi hormones or its just my scattered mind that face the worst moment of it. Do you ever feel that way? when one day you felt like you are the star of the world, everything looks so shining, flower blooms, everyone greets you along the way you walk and the next day just because one failure, your world turns upside down, everything suddenly turn to pitch black, what you did just another moment of failure again and again, and it just can be shut up when you turn your light off and sleep (and in the other times it doesnt help at all). Sometimes it makes me afraid of get a day full of happiness because i know (likely) that the next day everything will just slip out off my hand easily and my mind shuts every chance of success.
Do you ever feel that way? the unstable commotion.
Then i realize that maybe its the time for me to make up my mind, self, personality and grown up. When something that bothered me so much is not about that love things again, at least i know, love doesn't bothered me anyway. I have another important things that have to be taken care of. Isn't it relieving? but yeah, another big things comes to misplace that things in my mind. Big things bothered but it comes for something that makes us better. And what makes this commotion more worst? i found that there's this Bipolar disorder that look a like with what i felt right know.
It starts from my curiosity about this Bipolar Disorder because one of my relation is the victim of this disease. I dont know her so much but just seeing this word on her bio on twitter makes me curious and search it on google. I have heard about this disease from my mom's novel (which i am not allowed to read it because i still 14 that day), so i googled it. And i found this disease is such complex psychology disorder. I wont explain it on here because it will be too long and moreover i just know the surface area of it, not that deep so it can't be guaranteed whether my statement is true or false, hey! i am just a little girl who googled everything -___-".
And maybe because i was too curious, it stucks on my mind and start to relate it with my mental habit everyday, which is wrong. Someday i was so afraid that maybe I'm the one of someone who have Bipolar Disorder because sometimes i am having this rollercoaster mood. It's silly right? because in fact, someone have to go through many steps of examination until they can say that you have Bipolar Disorder, and in here, i just search on google and easily relate this disorder to my habit which is actually its very normal for people to get this rollercoaster mood -___-" silly. Because of that i stop my small research in google and get back to my life.
I think that maybe i am not someone who suffer from this Bipolar Disorder but maybe i am just not mentally prepared for everything that happen because ya, i never go through this before. I cant work under pressure, deadline and all of their terrific friends, and now i have to face it. Ever feel that you already done the best but someone messed it up, and i learn that my mom said about this world is definitely true. don't easily trust someone even they look so nice in front of you. i thought that "in front of you" word have to be underlined because its very important, everyone looks so nice, right? but we never knew what actually they are thinking about us. And i dont used to think that way because i thought everyone is nice as long as they look nice for me -__-" how naive.
And when i get that disappointment, i am not well prepared to face it and have to take a while. Is it the part of growing up? maintain your angry, selfishness, sad so it wont ruin your daily activity or harm your mental -__-" i am not so sure. But what i'm sure of is, ya, sometimes people have to change to face that this world is actually not as kind as a fairy tale. It push you, hurt you, put you in the deepest ground or more worst, somewhere that you never knew and never been there. and guess what? theres no other way than face it. You can run as fast as you can, but you cant always run when everything starts getting harder. But yeah, saying is always more easy than doing, so that your words depends on an action when choice to "run" looks so tempting yet relieving.
It starts from my curiosity about this Bipolar Disorder because one of my relation is the victim of this disease. I dont know her so much but just seeing this word on her bio on twitter makes me curious and search it on google. I have heard about this disease from my mom's novel (which i am not allowed to read it because i still 14 that day), so i googled it. And i found this disease is such complex psychology disorder. I wont explain it on here because it will be too long and moreover i just know the surface area of it, not that deep so it can't be guaranteed whether my statement is true or false, hey! i am just a little girl who googled everything -___-".
And maybe because i was too curious, it stucks on my mind and start to relate it with my mental habit everyday, which is wrong. Someday i was so afraid that maybe I'm the one of someone who have Bipolar Disorder because sometimes i am having this rollercoaster mood. It's silly right? because in fact, someone have to go through many steps of examination until they can say that you have Bipolar Disorder, and in here, i just search on google and easily relate this disorder to my habit which is actually its very normal for people to get this rollercoaster mood -___-" silly. Because of that i stop my small research in google and get back to my life.
I think that maybe i am not someone who suffer from this Bipolar Disorder but maybe i am just not mentally prepared for everything that happen because ya, i never go through this before. I cant work under pressure, deadline and all of their terrific friends, and now i have to face it. Ever feel that you already done the best but someone messed it up, and i learn that my mom said about this world is definitely true. don't easily trust someone even they look so nice in front of you. i thought that "in front of you" word have to be underlined because its very important, everyone looks so nice, right? but we never knew what actually they are thinking about us. And i dont used to think that way because i thought everyone is nice as long as they look nice for me -__-" how naive.
And when i get that disappointment, i am not well prepared to face it and have to take a while. Is it the part of growing up? maintain your angry, selfishness, sad so it wont ruin your daily activity or harm your mental -__-" i am not so sure. But what i'm sure of is, ya, sometimes people have to change to face that this world is actually not as kind as a fairy tale. It push you, hurt you, put you in the deepest ground or more worst, somewhere that you never knew and never been there. and guess what? theres no other way than face it. You can run as fast as you can, but you cant always run when everything starts getting harder. But yeah, saying is always more easy than doing, so that your words depends on an action when choice to "run" looks so tempting yet relieving.
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