rookie reckless debater

Good sweet morning dear peopleeeee!!!!!!!
huaaaah, theres so many things that i got to tell you. so many things happen, unpredictable, yet, a little bi saddening, a little bit, happy. but well, it is life, right?

so, i've told you before that lately i try to push my self to the limit. get out from my comfort zone, try something new, i have to fight against a lot of afraid, anxious, shame, and the other burden feelings. and the result is i enter the debate championship in my faculty which named ADC "Agriculture Debate Championship". its just like a gambling for me to take a part in this championship. i havent join the same championship before, like all this debate contest. i am not that addict to some debating session with another people, hellow, i am the peace keeper dear ladies and gentleman, muahahahha. its a little narcissistic from me, but yep, i am not that kind of person. i thought that every one have their own arguments about seeing a thing, and that is not your business to persuade it and make them stand in the same page as you. i just don't used to do that, and take a part in this debate championship, with zero experience and all this grammar nazi, its like i try to reach my own death -____-"

firstly its a little bit strange, but it is changing my perception in debate. debate is not such hellish game like i thought before. it is done by some rule, and we just dont fight against each others. but yea, we are exchanging our arguments above the big heading, one to another which called motion. put every single rebuttal to the things that we dont agree. and like i said, it is hard enough to agree in some motion when actually our heart definitely say no, huaaaaa :"""", i am not that "munafik" person. but everything have their other side, it is depends on our point of view, whether it is black or white. you ruled the motion, not the vice versa. and after all the process, after all the debate session every night in the secre, got locked by the head of my dorm, got wet because of the rain that comes so unpredictable, finally . . . my team, surprisingly got the RUNNER UP!! yeaaaaay, hahahaha. 

my first medal, though it is just runner up, but it burns me everytime i see it :""

and now, i started to like it. it is the art of persuading people, with your thought, manor, and a little fact. and this time, i get a lot of knowledge, knowing new person, that changing my mind. like actually, the world we live in is not that narrow as "daun kelor". there are sooo many amazing person that already has a lot of experience, achievement, especially in debate. and its just "what the hell i am doing in the past 17 years". i just feel soo ordinary. and then i promise my self, to do that trial again. try try try myself beyond my own limitation, crisis, people, relationship and etc.

and now, after all that debate session, medal, crisis, and etc. having my night without that debate session just feel so strange to be through. it is that i lost something. maybe someday, if there is a chance to do that debate again, then i am in. if it is no, well, maybe my dear God has another thing that i should try :").i never knew that trying something new is this exciting.  

but ya, i still wonder what i lost the most, the euphoria, or the person. 
maybe for the last, it is just my bittersweet admiration, agree? :)

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